This is something I have been contemplating lately. I heard a song that was talking about Eve eating the apple and bringing sin to the world. Here's the thing. Even if Eve was strong enough to resist Satan and did not eat that apple and they walked with God until their death. Even if the world had never known sin and was perfect until the day I was born I am pretty sure I would have eaten that apple. I would not have had enough strength to resist! I have a heart full of sin.
I have been struggling with weird bits of jealousy. Not for the things people have or things I want but, and here is the weird thing, for the positions others are in. I was jealous that some friends got to go visit Lisa in the hospital, that one of my friends organized the dinners for the family before I did. And really the list goes on. Don't get me wrong, even in the midst of these feelings I am relieved that Lisa, and the others, have friends willing to do whatever needs to be done, but I still feel those twangs of jealousy.
Here is the real thing. I should be on my knees praying fervently for these people. Not just occasional prayers but when I am wishing for something to do for those in pain, I really should be talking to my Heavenly Father on their behalf!
So that is where I am at this week. I can't stop crying at any given moment for Lisa and her baby and for Darian and his family. Tonight I am going to bed a bit earlier because at 4 am Saturday morning I will be heading to my church to pray during Foothills prayer vigil. I am pretty sure I will be a wreck. I will need a huge box of tissue and can only hope that I actually get words out.
I guess I feel like I should apologize. Because if Eve didn't bring sin into the world I would have. I am even more aware this week that Jesus dying on the cross was FOR ME. He was dying for my sins, He knew.